The holiday season is here and for so many of us it brings with it expectations. Yet, it's important to remember that expectations fall under the category of what we CAN control.

Buddhism warns us about the "wanting mind" and the power of expectations to create suffering.

This of course doesn't mean we don't want things or expect the best in our lives. It simply means we must discern between the difference of wanting and clinging (or attachment). When we place our happiness, worthiness or peace of mind in the hands of what others do, believe, think or feel we can suffer.

Happiness and expectations are often conflated. We confuse them and link them together. The truth is, no matter our triggers - or our expectations - we can learn to choose how we want to feel and how we show up right now in this very moment. We can choose our point of focus and MANAGE our expectations.

Here are a few ways to do that:

✨Take sole responsibility for your decisions and what you want to do, think and feel. You have ownership over this, no matter what happens.

✨Separate your wants from shoulds. Focus instead on your values, core beliefs and acting in integrity with yourself.

✨ Avoid becoming a martyr and feelings such as guilt, self-pity and resentment. These shut you down, close you off from spirit and your wiser self. Instead let go of expectations of others or the need for approval.

✨ Live in the present moment. This moment is where you have the ability to choose.

✨ Be grateful for each moment because with it brings an opportunity. The opportunity to choose. Having no choice would be much more painful. 

And of course, take time everyday to fill your own cup. Regularly nourish your body, mind, spirit and emotions - and be kind and patient with yourself.. 

Happy Holiday Season! I am grateful for YOU

With Love,
Joy

_________

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