How Heavy is This Glass of Water?Jun 24, 2020
"How heavy is this glass of water?", she asked
The teacher replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you hold it. If you hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If you hold it for an hour, you'll have an ache in your arm. If you hold it for a day, your arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case the weight of the glass of water doesn't change, but the longer you hold it, the heavier it becomes."
The stresses and worries in life are like the glass of water.
Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed - incapable of doing anything.
No one wants to carry stress and anxiety around all day long, but that's exactly what so many of us do. We don't want to act against our own values or compromise our behaviors, but that's what happens when we live in chronic stress and anxiety. When the fear response gets dialed up, the executive part of the brain gets dialed down.
As a spiritual seeker, or someone who is already immersed in self-discovery and self-improvement, the roller coaster ride of feeling in control, and out of control, can be extremely frustrating. I understand. I know what that frustration feels like. I have been there myself. In fact, it can happen to all of us.
But, I also fully believe, and teach, that we FIRST live from our own mind, then we live in the world. This is one of the many reasons we must make time every single day to put the glass of water down, and shift our perspective.
Viktor Frankl wrote, "When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves."
The #1 action you can take - and one you probably already know - to calm the stress response, settle your anxiety, and place yourself in the position to create conscious change, is to breathe. - Simply, close your eyes and breathe in and breathe out.
But the most important part comes next.
Once you've calmed the stress and fear response, you are then in a powerful position to choose your way, rather then be led by the habit of fear and anxiety.
Here is where you change the story in your mind - the place from which you always live first - and from which you see the world.
I learned these three mindset shifts from my friend and fellow coach, Ramses Rodriguez. I use these daily, in my own life, and with my clients. These three questions will help you shift from stress and anxiety, to feeling more in control and confident about which choice or acton to take next.
- When you say “I don’t know,” your brain stops looking for an answer.
- When you say “I’m not sure,” your brain gives up.
- When you say “I can’t,” you stop expanding.
What I encourage you to ask yourself instead are the following questions
✔️Instead of “I don’t know” ask yourself, “If I DID know, what would be my answer?”
✔️Instead of saying “I’m not sure” ask yourself, “if I WAS sure, what would that look like?”
✔️Instead of saying “I can’t” ask yourself “If I COULD, how could I do that?”
Put down the glass of water, take a few deep breaths, grab a journal, and answer to the best of your ability, one or all, of these questions. You will not regret it. In fact, you will be so happy you did.
I always want to share what I am learning with you, because I believe that together we grow stronger. And that's why I"d also love to hear your insights, and any shifts in perspective you experienced by doing this work,
Just, hit the reply and let me know. I can't wait to hear from you!
- If you're struggling to feel the way you thought you would after doing all the work you've already done on yourself, I am here to help. I know how you feel because I've been there too - and I know what it truly takes to get to the other side of anxiety, disconnection and self-doubt, and to that place of inner calm, spiritual balance, and ease.
- Schedule your complimentary call with me today. Lets talk. It can feel really good to talk to someone who has been where you are, and who understands. Click HERE to choose a day and time that works for you.